Reflecting on Revision- Paper 1
Introduction: My essay has changed a lot throughout the month. The only thing that stayed relatively the same is my opening paragraph and statement. My group and I both thought my opening statement was engaging and hooked the readers in, so I kept it from my rough draft to my final draft. I added a thesis and stated the purpose of my essay, that Discourses shape who we are. In my rough draft, I seemed to talk without a point. So, in my final draft, I made sure I could define all of my points.
Evidence and Explanations: I added more evidence to support my claims. More quotes from Gee, and going more in-depth on the concepts that I am talking about. I elaborated on the concept of Discourse as a whole. I added about primary and secondary Discourses so the reader can fully understand what a Discourse is. My quotes in my rough draft were very “hit and run”. To fix that I added explanations to my quotes.
Reorganization: I did not do a lot of reorganizing, I mostly just added to my paragraphs I had already written.
New Paragraphs: My final paragraph is lengthier than my rough draft. I added to my conclusion statement to my final essay. I also added another paragraph to talk about primary and secondary Discourses. These extra paragraphs added a better understanding of Discourses.
